Welcome to the No. 7 (should we call it “Lucky”?) edition of Conversations with Friends, a blog focused on the enlightening and entertaining conversations I have with an assortment of accomplished professionals, thought leaders, and game changers. And yes, they are my friends, and I am very proud of them. But, way beyond that, these are bright people with genuine passion and great insights that I want to share with others. Through our discussions, I hope to present a bird’s eye into the unique nuances and points of view that make these conversations really interesting.
May 26, 2016 – New York, New York – As we all go along in our busy lives, we hope, that out of all this “running around” we end up meeting a few really special people. So, what do you do when one of those really special, wonderful people, that you really admire tells you that you MUST meet someone? Well, of course– you go!
A while back I got such an email from a very special woman whom I greatly admire (see above). She wrote a note of mutual introduction to me and a woman named Shira Ginsburg. She explained that Shira was producing a show– I’m in marketing– and that she thought we should connect. After a few emails flew back and forth containing the usual pleasantries, we agreed to meet for coffee on what turned out to be the kind of semi-gray, not exactly cold, “season” agnostic day we have been having in NYC for what seems to be a year now. Well, to my surprise, within minutes of meeting each other, the “sun” came out… bright and shiny…right in our booth at the Brooklyn Diner! We talked and laughed and ended up saying a lot of “I know, me too!” resulting in more giggles and knowing smiles. We knew right away that we would be friends.
And since then I have been genuinely intrigued with Shira’s world. For one, she is a religious leader, which I find absolutely fascinating in and of itself. I personally don’t know any other person in that capacity that is also a friend and contemporary. I have gone to services at her synagogue (the oh so charming East End Temple) several times now, and even taken friends along, just to listen to her sing on a Friday night. It is really special. It’s actually funny, as you will read below, as it is hard to describe what you think someone in that role should “look” or be like. But to me, that is the true definition of a real “Power” job (think about it– who is her boss???)
But not only that– she wrote, scored, and produced a one-woman show – about her actual family. And in a way that is almost completely in juxtaposition with how most “family” stories are told (i.e., let’s face it, we all like to make fun of our families – some people have made entire careers out of doing so). She tells her story with such love and raw authenticity, it’s wonderfully startling.
After anxiously awaiting, then seeing the NYC premier of Shira’s show, Bubby’s Kitchen, I thought it would be the perfect time to ask her a few questions. Here is what we talked about, but I have to warn you, get ready for the “sun” to come out…
Hilarie: Where does your pioneering spirit/fearlessness come from?
Shira: I think each of us has a unique set of talents and gifts. It is our responsibility to develop those gifts and use them to contribute to the world in the best, most positive and unique ways we are able. When I was younger I may have bemoaned not having other gifts and skills but I believe true fearlessness comes only when we accept who we are; all of the good and all of the flaws; and get to work! It has taken me some time to get to this place, to believe that I am up to owning the incredible legacy of my grandparents. They are the ultimate model of bravery and fearlessness. But, once I got to work, I came to truly understand that real fearlessness comes from “the doing” in spite of the fear.
Hilarie: You initially wanted to be an actress – which of course you are now – how did you decide that was what you wanted to do?
Shira: I always wanted to be an actress, from the moment I stepped on stage at the age of four playing the shrinking witch to my Aunt Sheri’s 17-year-old Wicked Witch of the West in the Troy (NY) High School production of ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ I was hooked for two reasons: firstly, Sheri was my ultimate idol, and anything that she did I wanted to do. When she invited me to be on stage with her and all of her friends, I am pretty sure I experienced nirvana. Secondly, standing on stage, bright lights blinding you from seeing the audience, yet still feeling the very visceral connection to them awakens a true sense of belonging to something that is greater than just one’s self– it is a connection to humanity and our shared human experience.
Hilarie: Everyone has an interesting journey in which they find their way to what they want to “do” when they grow up – tell us about yours?
Shira: My path has certainly been filled with twists and turns, but it’s amazing in retrospect how everything has come full circle for me. I went to Syracuse University to study acting and received my BFA in Musical Theatre. I set out to be a working actress in NYC, and it was just as trying and crazy as everyone warns you that it will be. I was successful and landed work, but found I wasn’t really fulfilled living the lifestyle of a working actor. AKA– getting side jobs with the intention of quitting as soon as I booked another show. I wound up applying to Cantorial school, a choice that surprised me to no end, and also challenged me to reexamine how I identified myself, which at the time was largely as ‘actress.’ (For those who are a little lost on what Cantorial School means, a “Cantor” is a spiritual leader in the Jewish faith, who works alongside the Rabbi and leads the congregation in song and prayer – Shira explains it in greater detail below but here’s some basic info: http://judaism.about.com/od/glossary/g/What-Is-A-Cantor.htm)
Cantorial school was a five-year process. The first year of study is in Jerusalem, and the subsequent four are in NYC. I learned and grew so much in those five years, and felt that I had really transitioned from identifying as ‘actress’ to ‘Cantor.’ But of course, the moment you think you know something is exactly when it changes. I wound up writing the first iteration of ‘Bubby’s Kitchen’ in partial fulfillment of my Master’s thesis. My intention wasn’t to write a show, but rather to tell my family’s story. Of course, because of my background in the theatre, my natural form of expression was in play form.
As soon as I performed it, people asked me to bring it to their communities and before I knew it I was touring the show. I have been traveling and working on Bubby’s Kitchen for 8 years now. We just had our NYC premiere of the show which was fantastic, (I must completely agree, the show is really really good!) and now we’re seeking to create an off-Broadway run. Aside from the obvious personal narrative content of the show, the difference between performing Bubby’s Kitchen and any other show I had performed prior, is that my identity is now a fully merged one– I no longer look at myself as ‘actress’ or ‘Cantor’ but rather as ‘me’; a synthesis of everything that I have learned, studied, and experienced.
” We are each so much more than just a title or label and we each have so much more to offer the world.”
Performing wedding ceremony
Hilarie: Being a religious leader is a big responsibility, how did you come across this path? And how did you know it was right for you? Additionally, for those that may not know, what is a Cantor?
Shira: I knew that the Cantorate offered me a way to synthesize my particular skills with the things I feel passionately about– namely: music, singing, Judaism, tradition, and building community. I had a sense that I would be good at it and well suited to the career, but what I didn’t know was how much I would love it and feel fulfilled by it.
As a Cantor, I am responsible for leading my community in all of the ways a Rabbi would with an additional concentration in music which translates into creating and planning all worship services, holiday, Shabbat, and festival services, as well as any other events or celebrations that involve music in any way. As the head of the B’nei Mitzva program at my synagogue, I tutor each child for their bar and bat mitzvah. (If you’ve never been to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah – highly recommend it! It’s like the ultimate party for the 13 year-old in all of us!) I work very closely with members of my community, officiate at all life cycle events including weddings and funerals, guide people through conversion processes, teach children and adults, and I do a good amount of Pastoral care.
Hilarie: What was most appealing to you about becoming a religious leader, in particular? What are your feelings about being a woman in what is traditionally perceived as a man’s role– from a personal, secular, and religious standpoint? Do you even see it that way?
Shira: What I love more than anything about being a Cantor is being an integral member of a community. There is nothing quite like helping people to celebrate their greatest moments of joy and then helping them to grieve and mourn their most difficult losses. As a Cantor, I have the honor of being a conduit or vessel for people’s experiences with the divine. Among my roles is to help people access their own connections with god and spirituality, in both themselves and through the context of community.
I am fortunate to be standing on the shoulders of the incredible generations of women who came before me; who paved the road for me to step into this role with complete confidence in my status as equal partner to the Rabbi. Though this was once a traditionally male role, it has not been identified solely as such for over 40 years, so there has been a great amount of precedence of excellence from female cantors. That said, we as women have much more work to do in every facet of society, both professionally and politically.
Hilarie: How do you feel about being a religious leader and then being part of “life” as we know it – as a beautiful, educated, single woman in New York? Are you held to a higher standard? Or being that you already have your own moral code to live by, is that not an issue?
Shira: First of all, thank you for the compliment. I think being a contributing member of society is vital for all of us. As a Cantor, I am guided by the same moral compass that I always have been, the title doesn’t change that. What it does change is how others often perceive me. I think rather than being held up to a higher standard, which I have always held myself to, others look to me for guidance, support, and for a model of how to be a proud, modern, feminist Jew who is a synthesis of both a traditional and liberal upbringing. I laugh when after finding out what I do professionally, people say with a confused and surprised face, “but you don’t look like a Cantor.” To that I respond, “Take another look. This is indeed what a Cantor looks like.” (Ha! That is SUCH a Shira comment, said with both authority and wit!)
Poster for Show
Hilarie: Ok, back to Bubby’s Kitchen, which I was fortunate enough to attend at its recent NY run… How long did it take to write the story – what was that process like? Then the music – wow – all you and all performed by you – did you create that in tandem with the story?
Shira: I wrote the original story, which has always remained the core of each iteration, after one fabulous weekend with my Aunt Sheri spent laughing and crying and retelling every family story we could possibly think of. Wine was involved. Much wine. I sat down to write the following week, and honestly the script practically wrote itself. Since then, however, I have worked through something like 60-70 rewrites and tweaks, big and small. Two years into performing the show with music from other sources, I partnered with Jonathan Comisar, my dear friend and incredible composer, to compose all new original music for the show. That was close to a two-year process, Jonathan writing gorgeous music and the two of us writing the lyrics together. Again, much laughter, much crying and much wine. The original music made the script come alive in an altogether new and more personalized way. The depth of the music and the weaving together of Jewish and musical theatre musical traditions done so expertly by Jonathan, tells a musical story that parallels the three generations of survival and legacy that are the core of the show.
Hilarie: It’s an incredibly moving and deeply personal story that you share, how do you feel about that kind of exposure? How does your family feel?
Shira: It is an incredibly personal story, but one that I think must be told. So many of us try to push down the things that are difficult in our lives, ignore the pain in an effort to make it go away. By doing the opposite, not only admitting to my faults and fears, but quite literally shining a light onto them (a very big, bright spotlight, actually!) I can overcome, and move forward from them. My grandparents went through such horrible atrocities during the Holocaust, it is my obligation and my honor to shed light on their stories, to share their incredible survival with the world. Ultimately to show that their bravery, love, and tenacity brought good into a world of so much evil, a world that tried so perversely to wipe them and every Jew off of the face of the earth. We are here, I am here, because ultimately, love, goodness, and righteousness must prevail in this world.
Hilarie: I was wide-eyed with astonishment when watching you perform; you seem to embody each character – how do you go there?
Shira: Again, thank you. (You are most welcome!) I am quite fortunate to have an incredibly gifted director, Schele Williams, who has helped me make each character uniquely their own. Through her guidance, I have found the heart of each of the characters, what makes them tick and shine, and created the characters around that essential core. Because these characters are real people in my life, I have the added advantage of modeling physicality, vocality and gestures. It is sometimes surprising to me how much I feel a part of them on stage. It’s not so much that I am performing them, as they are inside of me and come out of me in those moments. To tell you the truth, it can be a bit haunting sometimes. But, I also feel comforted that I am telling this story for all of us, for every member of my family, and that when I step into these characters each night, they give me their blessing.
On Tour in Aspen, CO
Hilarie: As you know, I saw the show with a group of women – and they all LOVED it! What are your future plans for the show?
Shira: I love this question. And what an incredible group of women! (I have to admit, it was a pretty great group – all of us “collected” by the fabulous woman who introduced me to Shira!) My artistic team and I were thrilled with our recent NY production and are moving forward in planning an off-Broadway run. We received wonderful feedback and reviews from the audience, press, and industry, and we are excited to take what we’ve learned back into the rehearsal room in preparation for our next steps. That said, we are currently seeking producing and investment partners, should you know anyone 🙂
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